Never fear, Dr. Jim will be back shortly.
(We’re in the process of transferring the domain name and it’s a little wonky at the moment.)
-Mrs. Dr Jim
Never fear, Dr. Jim will be back shortly.
(We’re in the process of transferring the domain name and it’s a little wonky at the moment.)
-Mrs. Dr Jim
Catholic Holy Mass Transubstantiation Miracle-bra: Specially designed for the woman with breast augmentation surgery, to help transform you into someone divinely edible!
Anselm’s Holy-Sophistry Onto-oggle Deluxe! Super extra padded, defines any figure to beyond 46DD! A bra for busoms greater than that which can be conceived! Make imagination and “reality” merge in a perfect you!
Amish “Boobie Buggy”: A modest, hand made item that eschews the crass modern underwire technology for good old fashioned under-oaked craftsmanship!
Official Iranian Government “Presidential Pleasure” Bra: Unlike your country, there are no bosoms in Iran; we don’t have any.
Zoroastrian “Dynamic Dual” The white side is designed for maximum uplift and the black side is not.
Hare Krishna ”Midnight Mantra” In beautiful saffron coloured material, our masterpiece channels a special “airport uplift” energy for true bosom consciousness.
Zen Buddhist “Enigma” If a bosom should fall in our bra, is there any refund?
Zen Buddhist “Enigma Deluxe” What is the sound of one breast flapping? Whatever it is, cover it up with our asymmetrical, custum fit, harmonically balanced, and acoustically insulated Enigma Deluxe, and get the peace and quiet you deserve!
Zen Buddhist “Satori Teaser” Tie yourself into an illogical knot with this elegant clasp-less design, because you know you’re not supposed to have any attachments!
Roman Catholic “Holy Mother Imaculate Contraption” Stain resistant, for nursing women, our new high tech miracle will hold ‘em till you need ‘em.
Christian Literalist “Intelligently Designed Divine Image Science Bra”. Our most high-tech line reconciles pure science, human biology, and true faith. It takes the bra to a new level of complete practicality, comfort and ergonomic efficiency and is based on BIBLICAL principles! With three cups, our bra is unashamedly trinitarian in a world that has sold its soul to “if it feels good, wear it” godlessness!
Orthodox Jewish “Red Sea Bra” Excellent lift and separation for 6 days, but of course, no lifting or separating on the Sabbath.
Reform Jewish “Red Sea Freedom Bra”. Excellent lift and separation all week long.
Conservative Jewish “Red Sea Consensus Bra” Excellent lift and separation for 6 days, but only if there is a general agreement that it is necessary.
Orthodox Jewish “Talmud Teaser” Rabbi Joshua said, “It is written, ‘Do two walk together without them having met?’ so bras should hold the bosom together.” Rabbi Judah said, “The Holy One-blessed by He-separated the waters to reveal the dry land when He created the universe.” Rabbi Hannaniah said in the name of Rabbi Nehemiah, “He separated the waters of the Sea and then divided the River Jordan, piling the waters up on the right and the left to let the Sons of Israel make their way to the promised land, a land ‘flowing with milk and honey’. Therefore, bras should lift and separate and give room for the discovery of honey.” The sages said, “It is written, ‘My tongue cleaves to the roof of my mouth’ and therefore cleavage is a good thing,” but Rabbi Baruchiah said, “Is the cleaving of the tongue to the roof of the mouth the same as a bosom’s cleaving? One is from a dry mouth and the other makes the mouth water.” Hillel said, “Women are free from the commandment of binding on Teffilin so should they not be required to bind their bosoms”. Shammai said, “I’m more of a leg-man myself” but Rabbi Herschel said… (goes on for 5 more pages with a long digression into the question of how big a “cup” can be before it is a “basin”).
Fundamentalist Christian “Original Sin Bra” “The Fall” came when Eve ate the apple and so there isn’t anything to be done about it since bosoms are evil, wicked, satanic, vile, and are against biblical family values, but our bra is richly padded and embroidered with biblical passages to make you look more upright and smug and yet pleasing to the eyes of the men God has sent to bless your life.
Pentecostal Televangelist “Miracle Lift Faith Bra” Don’t let the Devil drag you down! Sew a Seed of Faith of only $1000 by ordering our Miracle Lift Faith Bra, and you will reap a harvest! Don’t forget the parable of the Faithful Wife in the Book of Egomaniciah who sewed only ONE seed and reaped a great harvest of produce and brought great joy to her poor husband! Yes, your own $1000 Faith Seed will grow as you wear our Miracle Lift Faith Bra — sent to you free of charge out of Christian Love—and you too will be lifted up in the Spirit, and your husband will enjoy a harvest of melons!
Mormon “Nights on Zion” An exact copy of the bra Joseph Smith used to wear on Saturday nights. Fundamentalist Mormon “Easy-Sorting, Big-Amy style” One size fits every woman in the house, so there’s no point to wondering which is whose!
Mennonite Bra Designed to keep the world from knowing a woman has any need for a bra under the plain dress designed, as much as possible, to look as though a woman doesn’t have breasts.
Fundamentalist Islamist “Discrete Desires Bra” Full support head to toe, to give you that appealing lack of feminine shape.
Hindu “Devi Deluxe” Realize your personal goddess. Comes with as many complementary shoulder straps as you think you have arms.
Buddhist “Not Quite Nirvana” Accentuates natural sag, deflation and impermanence. Hutterite “Bra” Only in black, and handmade of the finest economy-grade canvas. Available at Canadian Tire stores from coast to coast.
Scientology “Spiritual Technology Bra” Available only to the initiated for the low price of $50,000. Athletic-level of support and comfort even when jumping up and down on couches like an idiot. It comes with various books, pamphlets, built in flashing lights, a whistle, and a small propeller on each cup. Great support for the AUTHORIZED wearer from our legal team.
Confucian “Mandate of Heaven Bra” The Master said, “Heaven smiles upon the emperor who justly governs and supports the people so that they are not even aware that they are being ruled. So too, do men smile when they see the bosom that is naturally governed by our invisible underwire and seamless technology.”
Taoist “Wooo-weeee!” The bosom that can be tamed is not a real bosom.
Pascal’s “Wager Wonder Econo-Bra” For both women and men: in fact anyone who looks at themselves and says “there is no bosom”. But what if you find one there one day? At this low price, everyone can afford be prepared!
OK, THAT WAS FUN. NOW, JUST TO SHOW THAT US HEATHENS CAN TAKE A JOKE
Jerry Coyne “True Evolution” If you want more than “intelligent design”, make the the natural selection!
James Randi “Booby-Prize Challenge” Bra, Wear it to humor the True Believers™ in the full knowledge that you don’t need the falsey “miracle” of wires and a good bit of padding!
Mythbusters “Pun Intended Bra”. RECALLED due to a proclivity to spontaneously explode.
Richard Dawkins “Goddess Delusion Bra” Bright red, available only in ‘A’ cup sizes and to be worn on the outside to show the world that you prefer men who appreciate you for your brains and not your ability to make them say “Oh God…”.
PZ Myers’ “Phar-Angular Provocateur” This mercilessly sharp cone-bra is likely to upset some, and may even get you “expelled” as you drive your points home.
A GUEST BRA: Hemant Mehta’s “Gawkin’ Dawkin’s, Atheist Bust Bra”. From the Friendly Atheist himself (posted here without permission, of course).
The Tantalizing Textural Bra. Each one hand made and unique. Garuanteed no two the same! Each one conveniently rolls up! (*please note, these bras are sourced from various locales. Minor variations and apparent inconsistencies in the material are to be expected in this series and are not covered by waranty). Clay storage jars sold separately. Please keep away from worms, water and other sources of decay. Please beware of unlicenced dealers.
The Documentary Hyperbole. On of out all time great sellers, available in all sizes in J, E, D, and P cups. It seems a little frumpy at first but custom orders are welcome so you can have tradition your way. Comes with full hypothetical documentation.
Generic enigma. Our most cost-effective model given how even the discriminating form critic will study you over and over wondering just what sort of woman you are! Keep them guessing, with this bra that defies categorization. Don’t just sitz im your leben, be set to live!
The DeuteronoHysteria. One of our most Nothworthy creations, this series comes in a number of models. The baseline DtrH is made of select pieces of the finest traditional material, sewn together in a way that will make single minded statement about how naughty you really can be! Our deluxe models include extra ”Redaction-Attraction” layers, so you can make it as appealing as you dare and smooth out any wrinkles!
Final Form Fantasy Bra: A truly eyecatching number with completley invisible seams that will be the beholder of your own beauty. (*warning, this model is very fragile and is prone to deconstruct if someone doesn’t think it fits perfectly).
Maximal Reactionary Bra: For those who like their figures as fully rounded as their arguments, this offers nothing but the finest in traditional craftsmenship that proves more is better! No doubts about it!
The Bare Minimalist: Designed in Copenhagen and underwired with the highest quality Sheffield steel, this is the perfect choice for sexy evening wear on those romantic “late dates”. Those Persians will be purring like Hellenists when they see you in this controversial creation!
Ancient Ugaritic: “Ili milku’s Sex & Fertility Wonderlifter!” Defeat your Yamms’ tendencies to usurp your divine dignity with this holy treat that’s easy to wear with our patented Zaphon (and Zaphoff) technology. You don’t need lots of Baals to wear this, you’ll get them after! Anat’s a fact!
The Structuralist (pictured below)
Discontinued. Thank God.
The Society of Biblical Literature Annual Meeting Bra.
Not exactly as shown.
One size, fits no one. Liable to come unsnapped at any time, but looks great at all those late night receptions. Amount of padding varies year to year. More useful as a tote bag as it only has one cup. One per customer.
And see our SPECIAL OVERSTOCK CLEARANCE PRICE ON:
Dilettante Hobby Horse Bra
“If I have to explain the goldfish, you OBVIOUSLY misread my post.”
The most popular JIM WEST LOLCAT is this gem from Joel Watts!
Congrats to Joel! And here is the prize that will be winging its way to him soon!
Besides Tom Robinson’s book, there is another special prize wrapped up with it, but I will let him sit and wait for the package! I originally had something a little more fun in mind, but since Joel is a struggling grad student and since he has time to blog, well, I thought I would get him something with a bit of substance. Not that I want him to stop blogging! And besides, perhaps there will be a little publicity in it all for Tom, the best man for my upcoming wedding to Mary (the future Dr. Jim’s Better Brain).
So, drop by Joel’s blog, Unsettled Christianity for his doubtlessly unsettling gloating!
Thanks to everyone who submitted, voted, commented or just plain enjoyed it! And to Jim West, too!
The rest of the West
Allen Linville #4
Laine Clayton #1
Laine Clayton #2
Laine Clayton #3
Laine Clayton #4
Laine Clayton #5
Allen Linville #3
Luther Dog and Zwingli Cat or Zwingli Dog and Luther Cat?
Joel Watts #6
Hopefully, I set this up right, and you can pick your THREE favourites. IF there is a tie I will play it by ear…
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Jim Linville, associate professor of Religious Studies at the University of Lethbridge in Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada. I’ve been here since 2002, and up until last year, I was the department chair. Its nice that its someone else’s turn to catch all the sit.
If you want to contact me on university related business:
A812D University Hall
4401 University Drive
University of Lethbridge
Ph. 403 329 2537
For anything else:
Dr. Jim, proprietor of the Thinking Shop,
in a typical moment of philosophical insight.
My main field of study is the Hebrew Bible and I finished my PhD in 1997 at the University of Edinburgh under Prof. Graeme Auld. I did my undergraduate work under Ehud Ben Zvi and Francis Landy at the University of Alberta in Edmonton.
My thesis, Israel in the Book of Kings: The Past as a Project of Social Identity, was completed in 1997 and published by Sheffield Academic Press the following year in the JSOT Supplement Series. Someone read it once.
In 2008 I finally saw in print my second book Amos and the Cosmic Imagination published by Ashgate in SOTS series.
Said to contain the words of the earliest of the biblical prophets (8th century BCE), the book of Amos is reinterpreted by James Linville in light of new and sometimes controversial historical approaches to the Bible. Amos is read as the literary product of the Persian-era community in Judah. Its representations of divine-human communication are investigated in the context of the ancient writers’ own role as transmitters and shapers of religious traditions. Amos’s extraordinary poetry expresses mythical conceptions of divine manifestation and a process of destruction and recreation of the cosmos which reveals that behind the appearances of the natural world is a heavenly, cosmic temple.
It’s available as an E-book. Click here for the Ashgate page.
St. Mark of Emphasis says
“Buy this book and save the innocent and unsuspecting”
I have three main writing projects at present. Most significantly, I’m working on a book on myth theory and the Hebrew Bible. Since what counts as myth is socially determined it does no good to assess the biblical materials according to definitions of myth best suited to describing the sacred narratives of other societies without modifying those definitions to illuminate Israelite or Judean myth. I also want to look at the prophetic literature and prophetic characters (Isaiah, Amos et. al) in this light. I didn’t expect it, but this project has taken a bit of a turn into studying some aspects of ancient magic and incantations as examples of “applied mythology”: myth that is used to empower spells and so forth. I think it may be a key to open up a number of prophetic passages, not to mention some Psalms. I also think that there is a lot to learn from a comparative religion approach to the Hebrew Bible and ancient Israelite and Judean religion.
Dr. Homer Simpson, demonstrating Ganesh’s mythical,
“I don’t approve of this wedding” ritual dance.
The second project is to turn a whole mess of lecture notes and so forth into a workable introduction to the Hebrew Bible. I did want to make it a text book but I’m now thinking that will be boring and the market is flooded with some excellent works. Instead, I want to direct the book toward the atheist activist community who often don’t have much background in biblical scholarship and often rely on outdated or wrong approaches and information and who think that any refutation that includes an insult is valid. In short, it will be a book I wish Dawkins had available when writing The God Delusion because his handling of the Bible and Religion in general was, in some places, pretty pathetic. It was enough to drive one to drink.
The Official Beer of the Dept. of Religious Studies.
The other project is still in its infancy, and that is a study of fundamentalist biblical interpretation and the ideology and symbolic (instead of just “pseudo-”) “science” of the creationist movement. I’m really interested in how the scientific discourse becomes the well from which religious meaning is drawn. No idea where this will lead. Stay tuned.
One of the things I’m most proud of is the “Research in Religious Studies” Conference that I organize every Spring for our students. We are now beginning planning for our eighth year. We get students from all over Western Canada and a few from as far away as Eastern Canada. Some intrepid souls journey up the States, and we have had some papers from Vanderbilt and elsewhere. Last year we had a lot of cancellations (work commitments, lack of funding from universities, etc) but still 27 or so papers were presented. The previous three years saw around 40 each year!
The topics for the conference are pretty open. Anything to do with the academic study of religion is fare game. This year, we started a blog for the conference, and you can find that here. I will post the call for papers and all that when its time.
Sadly, there are very few biblical studies papers presented, and of those that are, the Hebrew Bible ones are rare indeed. Hopefully that will change soon.
I’m usually an avowed atheist but have moments of deliberate, calculating agnosticism, and noticeably less calculating neo-romantical humanism. I also have three cats and a tradition of throwing really silly Halloween parties and, occasionally, non-kosher Purim parties with my own “Revised Substandard” versions of Esther.
Ms Molly Rose Bean.
Anyway, I will be posting stuff here from time to time on my work, atheistical and agnoticalistic stuff, funny nonsense I encounter, opinions, editorials, silly stuff, and pictures of my cats. You can contact me here.
Dr Jim’s other two cats
Mr. Maxwell Mischief (in red) and his twin brother, Mr. Dash “Scamperpaw” Molasses, having a rational discussion over whether or not God really is a delusion.
I will also, from time to time, lament and loudly grieve the passing of Ms Alice Louise Kitten (2001-2008).